Archive for the ‘The Human Eyeball’ Category

Ranking the Yankees By Best Dog Name

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

… That would be the title (and purpose) of my new post at Bugs & Cranks. “Melky” is #1, of course, while “Chad” came in dead last. Terrible name for a dog, Chad.

If you only read one analysis of the 2009 Yankees, don’t make it this one. But if you read dozens of them, you might consider it.

This train of thought was sparked by Brian at Random House, whose own dog, Goose – as in Gossage – was once personally petted and complimented by Derek Jeter on the Upper East Side. My dog came with the name Pearl, and it suits her; but left to my own devices I might have come up with something a bit different, and quite possibly baseball-related. So it’s likely for the best that I didn’t get to make my own pick, or I might spend my mornings in Prospect Park calling for Bris Lord (“Human Eyeball, come! Come here, girl!”).

If something exciting doesn’t happen soon this offseason, I’ll do the Mets next.

Baseball Player NICKname of the Week

Monday, October 5th, 2009

According to Baseball-Reference.com, there have been 10 different Major League Baseball players nicknamed “Wild Bill,” from Bill Hutchinson in 1884 to Bill Connolly in 1953.

But there is only one Ed Heusser, “The Wild Elk of the Wasatch.”


Heusser pitched for five different teams in the 1930s and 40s, though why he reminded anyone of a wild elk is not clear. (It seems safe to assume “Wasatch” refers to the mountain range in Utah, where Heusser was born). He ended up with 300 walks (compared to 299 Ks), but didn’t hit an especially large number of batters or throw that many wild pitches.

I just hope this unsolved nickname doesn’t come to haunt me the way that Bristol Robotham Lord‘s “The Human Eyeball” still does.

NB: Heusser is not to be confused with Pepper Martin, “The Wild Horse of the Osage.”